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Being a Lecturer, Being a Friend?
New Guinea Meets India from Canada
By Dr. Paul A. Palayam Roche, PhD.*

“A Teacher Takes a Hand, Opens a Mind and Touches a Heart”
26 November 2001: My dearest Friends:

Walking on moist and spongy grass, over fallen leaves of oak, maple, silver birch and willow, and listening to the gentle rush of the river that flows behind our building in the wooded Thomson Park in Scarborough, Toronto, I think of the sea, the sun and the wide variety of flowers that I left behind in Papua New Guinea. And I miss them all. Especially the Orchid.

Looking up at the tall trees framed by the gray autumn sky, I observe a pretty yellow leaf falling from its lofty heights, pirouetting down gently and elegantly, dancing its flight to the ground as if listening to some unknown celestial music. I wished my flight home was similar; but it lasted over 33 hours from Port Moresby to Brisbane to Singapore to London to Toronto (3+10+13+7), and the music was sad, soulful and emotionally overwhelming.

A twenty-eight-hour stopover in London was very welcome indeed. In Heathrow Airport I met the Venerable Ariyasiri and Venerable Ananda, two very kind Sri Lankan Buddhist Monks whose fellow monks I knew in Vienna and Toronto. When my contacts in London could not be reached, the Monks looked after me very well, and it eased the pain and sorrow of parting from very close friends in Madang.

How do you forget so many of your students coming to the airport to see you off early in the morning, though they had their final exams the same day and the next? How can you wipe off from memory your students coming to your house, cleaning, cooking and packing for you during your last week and on the last day, while the men students stayed with you and helped you till 3:30 a.m. and you had to leave for the airport after two hours? And how can you ignore from your gifts the book of genuine tribute they gave you, addressed “To The Best Lecturer”? And how do you comfort all those students who cried their hearts out for you at the airport?

Ringing up to them from Port Moresby, Brisbane International Airport and sending them emails from Singapore and London….were the only gestures I could manage to console them, some of whom had become very dear to me. Though I was walking the streets of Toronto, or many of its parks, I was still in PNG: Reminiscing about the historic social research field trip to the volcanic Island of Manam; smiling about the simulated games we played for the course on War and Peace; grateful to God that the Corporate Communications classes conducted always in official attire proved to be great success; and fascinated by the book our First Year University Arts students published on sorcery as part of our Anthropology project. Pretty encouraging.

During my short tenure at the University, we achieved so many ‘firsts’ that there is the danger of languishing in the past. But it serves a purpose. The gutsy fights based on uncompromising principles that I put up, for which I paid a high price, will bear fruit some day.

In all this, one transforming experience stands out: The sublimity and delicateness of love, beauty and knowledge can be found in their subtlety and tenderness in any part of the world, transcending horizons beyond age, race and culture. Students remembered not necessarily the scholarly stuff you taught them. They remember the human and personal kindnesses you showed them and the stories you told them from your travels and experience, to illustrate a point or to keep the class awake!

My mission was to transmit knowledge, but I received an overflow of affection and love, that you have to be made of stone not to be smitten by it. Personally, it was a profoundly spiritual experience. I realized finally that it was I who was vastly enriched by my students in what I learnt from them.

Counterpoint

After having narrated what I felt, let me now tell you what the students themselves felt and wrote to me about their experience. Once I asked a former expatriate University Lecturer how many letters he had received from his students. “None”, was the reply. The thick file of letters from so many of my students is an indication of what difference the experience had made. Let me quote from the letters I have received since:

“It wasn’t the many presents we gave, nor the endless tears we shared, that was just the icing on the cake. You took with you all the love in the world that a group of young Papua New Guineans guarded so well. You took back our heartfelt thanks and our endless love….” (Letter from V. T., a Student in Papua New Guinea, 11th February, 2002.)

“You know there are times when we just sit around and talk about you. And how much impact your presence has brought into our lives. One of the times I won’t forget was during one of our class and one of our lecturers Dr. S… who takes us for Social Teachings asked us as a group to tell us the saddest moment that we have ever encountered at school. And it was in two seconds we all said the day Dr. Roche left our lives. He then asked about you and we had so much fun reminiscing about you…” (From the same student, 11th November 2003)

“I’d like to thank you for the final lecture you gave to the whole lot of us. To me, it sort of motivate(s) me to look forward to things that are yet to come. …At one stage of the lecture, you said and I quote: “Those who have something to live for will survive (1). And that is definitely true. I am not sure if you can still recall that part, but I have. That saying is still fresh in my mind…” (From L.L., 24th November 02.)

(1) “Viktor Frankl and Man’s Search for Meaning”, Last Lecture delivered in November 2001.

“Normally when my father comes to see me play, I try to perform 101% in my games to please him. Well it was the same with you, both inside the class and outside. You welcomed us into your house….I felt the love and warmth of my father in you. Feeling that way, made me aware of the fact that I didn’t want to let you down academically. Instead of performing 101% in my games, it was performing 101% in class(2). I had to please you like my own father. I loved every minute of it because you made it enjoyable for us….(GM, PNG)

(2) My departmental colleague felt I was giving high marks for my students. When I said that they did exceptionally well, she could not accept it and I was forced to downgrade the marks. This letter is the proof that they worked harder for my courses!

Your letter made me laugh and cry at the same time. You mentioned my performance in class. It was very motivating for me to read the stuff you wrote about the class and myself. I sincerely thank you for your gratitude. Your many late night and early mornings of preparations for classes is very much appreciated. Most people (Admin) don’t understand the amount of work you had to put into everyday for an overwhelming 10 subjects (3). You did your part as a lecturer to teach to the best of your ability, it certainly paid off with the students’ performances in class. Certainly these people didn’t see it. They thought they were smart to get rid of you. Well for sure, they certainly looked stupid and foolish. They definitely found it very difficult to find lecturers to fill in for you (4)…. (GM)

(3) The Courses I taught: 1. Anthropology and Culture Studies; 2. Introduction to Sociology; 3. Social Research Method; 4. War and Peace in Melanesia; 5. Interdisciplinary Research. In the Department of Communication Arts: 6. Editing and Publishing; 7. Questioning the Media; 8. Media in the Third World; 9. Asia-Pacific Development Issues; 10. Corporate Communications.

(4) I stood up for truth.

“We know, that everything you have done was with fervor and love for all the students who have come under your care, during your stay here; bearing in mind that these very students will one day be leaders of this nation. These young people whom you have touched “today” will one day relate this to their family and friends of this “Doctor Roche) who has had a tremendous influence on them here in DWU. Only they, will testify to that and I know many have already told you so. This is only the beginning.

If I were to go back to school, I would prefer you to be my lecturer. If I had the power, and wishes came true, and I could wind the clock back again….” (Mrs. L, Senior Office Staff, and wife of a Senior Journalist and Student, Wednesday, 31st October, 2001.)

“It really gives me strength and energy as always. You had a powerful and positive impact on us that has helped us a lot and students are still talking about you…I vividly remember nearly all the things you taught us in subjects we had you. It also helped me a lot to use examples and share the experiences of our classes…(KH, Student and later Lecturer, e-mail sent on Tuesday, 7th February 2004.)

(Some accolades were so exuberant that I could not print them here!!)

Besides inviting small groups of students to my house at the University campus, I invited the whole class once a year, and we cooked Indian curry and shared a meal. Some of my students later referred to my residence as “our house”!

Preparing for lectures late at night, writing articles for student magazines, organizing extra-curricular activities, encouraging the students to strive harder and better (and incurring the wrath of misunderstanding colleagues!); socializing with them at their level, and trying to understand their problems and anxieties, in life, love and family; promoting cultural interaction by introducing our cuisine during an annual farewell dinners, sharing curried chicken and spiced vegetables, eating on banana leaves Indian style: These are memories I have not forgotten. Neither have the students. They emailed me recently in August 2006 about the “Rasam” and “payaasam”, the south Indian fare I had served!

As a Lecturer, perhaps I might not be able to give them lectures again, but as a Friend, I would be fortunate to show them our cultural heritage and serve them our culinary specialties!